Whether you’ve primarily stayed at home during the past year, when the world has been turned upside down by COVID-19, or have kept right on with most of your life activities or maybe even increased them, you’ve probably learned some things about yourself and about what’s most important to you. I know I have, and I want these lessons to inform how I live going forward. But can I hold onto this desire and live it out, or will I slip back into old patterns? Much will depend on specificity and accountability. What do I mean by this?
Specificity: What exactly have I learned? Not just “I’ve learned a lot” but “I’ve learned X.” I need to be clear and precise. So, for starters, I’ve learned
- that as I’ve spent more time at home with my husband—helping him in the yard, sharing memories, watching movies, reading passages of books or articles to each other, and just sitting quietly and being together—our marriage has been strengthened.
- that I’m still a good cook. I’d been wishing I could actually enjoy cooking again, not just see it as a necessity (or a chore to be avoided: “Let’s eat out!”) With time at home, I’ve renewed my interest and pleasure in cooking.
- that mindfulness—being present in the present—is the key to enjoying life.
- that new things come along when the time is right. For example, I was invited to write these blog posts last spring, and I’ve just given my first retreat on a virtual platform. My husband and a group of friends have been meeting on our terrace on Sunday afternoons.
- that I don’t have to go to every event of every group I’m part of. If the friendships are real, they will remain.
- that spiritual direction by phone works fine. It may not be ideal, but it does work. When I decide to return to in-person sessions, I can still have some by phone, perhaps alternating months.
- that reading for pleasure is one of the best gifts I give myself.
- That I enjoy an occasional afternoon nap!
- that I can spend less money and give more to good causes. I had thought I was doing well in this regard, but I’ve saved—and given—much more in the past year. And I’m happier because of it.
- that I can do what works for me and for my family, regardless of what other people do or what anyone thinks.
“COVID Time” has brought much clarity into my life, and I’m sure I’ll add to the above list as I continue to notice what my days look like now, compared to what they looked like pre-COVID-19. But what’s going to keep me doing that, and then living accordingly?
Ah, that’s where accountability comes into the picture. The scariest person for me to share this list with will be my husband, so that’s what I’m going to do. In fact, before this is even posted, I will have held my nose and shown it to him. He’s the one who is going to know if I’m adhering to what I’ve learned or not. I’ll also share with my spiritual director and a few other close friends. Just knowing this makes me want to go back to the list and “soften” a few of my lessons, so I can maybe fudge a little. But then, am I really serious about wanting the lessons of the past year to grow and bear fruit in the future? It’s my choice.
What kind of ground am I: stony, thorny, or good? (Matt. 13:3-23) Can I be committed to actually change, or will the lessons have been for nothing? Time will prove me—or reprove me.
Your life may have been very different from mine during the past year. I’m retired, so my options were far greater than those of most people. But I suspect we’ve all had some lessons during the past year that are worth remembering and living by. I encourage you to write yours down and then share them with the person who knows you best, who sees you for who you are. Besides God, of course, Who loves you completely and Who sees His Son reflected in you. Because you are His child too—whether you learn your lessons or not.
